"Well-being and resilience promote each other in an upward spiral." - Rick Hanson
From the ground of well-being we are able to connect with our roots and draw upon our core resources to create resilience in response to challenges. Rick Hanson’s and Kristen Neff’s work identifies the qualities of self-worth and self-compassion as two essential inner resources for resilience. I would add curiosity - which impels us to explore possibilities with an open mind grounded in our self-worth and compassion. According to HeartMath research, these positive emotions engage our heart center and the nerve ganglia around the heart which activates the higher brain centers where new connections can be formed and where win-win solutions are found. Here, insight arises and we find new meaning or understanding that helps us move forward, make changes, or learn new skills as we adapt and grow.
With this inner foundation, then relationship and connection are essential outer resources for dealing with stress and recovering our resilience – our ability to bounce back and continue on our path.
Take a moment…
Bring your awareness to your body when you feel confident and calm - notice how you feel and where in your body you feel it.
Bring your awareness to your body when you feel upset or stressed. Bring loving kindness and self-compassion to notice how you feel and where in your body you are experiencing your feelings. Simply notice and be with yourself with aware loving kindness.
You may notice that when you are able to take some time out to simply be with yourself with compassion when difficult things arise, without chastising yourself or pushing the difficult impressions, thoughts, or feelings away, that your experience may change. You’ve approached yourself with curiosity and compassion which affirms your sense of self-worth and of caring for yourself. As you stay with this approach over time or over many incidences, you may notice that at some point there is a clearing. You may feel your heart/emotions/thoughts relax and you may receive an insight. Or you may simply be able to resource the ability to regain your sense of confidence and calm which is the place where we are able to truly perceive our options, make beneficial decisions, open to positive change, and learn new skills.
In my work as a Financial Wellness Coach, these skills are foundational. Money is the number one source of stress in the US. Women in particular, but men as well, often have a low sense of self-worth around money. They think they’re not smart enough to do math, tend their finances, or make good long-term financial decisions. They may be fearful of doing financial planning or tracking and judgmental of themselves for past or present financial decisions. Perhaps there’s childhood or life stories around money that have caused stress or poor habits. Or we just wish someone else would take care of our finances - a feeling that a large percentage of women expressed in several recent studies.
When we decide to create financial wellness and resilience in our lives it’s helpful to tap into our inner resources of self-compassion, and gentle loving kindness as we explore issues of our self-worth and values in working with what financial worth means to us.
What would you like to create in your life?
How would you like your finances to support you in fulfilling your vision?
What steps do you need to take?
What is one or two steps that you can take this week?
From my heart to yours, Suzanne Sky - Life Resilience & Financial Wellness Coach
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